I now understand that an aversion to holidays is extremely common in autistic people – the disruption to routine, the unpredictable nature of travel, the lights and noise of the airport and the extreme temperature change on arrival creates a special kind of sensory hell. Sameness is what I thrived on. I’m told that the appeal of holidays for most people is the novelty and break from the humdrum of everyday life.
-Fern Brady
Is this why people can’t just “get over” Christmas? To me, it happens every year so how can it be so great? How can someone celebrate 34 Christmases and not be over it? I get why people who get gifts get excited (mostly kids) but everyone else? Do they forget it just happened last year?
I say this as someone who keeps up Halloween decorations all year. So……But I don’t have a lot. If someone came by, they wouldn’t notice it. The most noticeable thing is the pumpkin garland in the bedroom. I don’t love Halloween. I just love the decor. Who doesn’t love skeletons? But I need people to make more purple Halloween decorations. I don’t love orange. My favorite type is Day of the Dead stuff because it’s bold and different for where I live.
No, I’ve never gone trick-or-treating. Wearing a costume isn’t particularly appealing to me. I can relate to this quote. It makes sense why I HATE holidays, but it’s also about overconsumption and capitalism, too.
Back on topic. I’m going to post a journal entry from my personal journal from September 2023. I was very young back then. Believe it or not. Anyway, I was looking up something for astrology and ran across this post. I would say 50% of this entry is true today.
Topics from a workbook (no longer available):
Had to rate each category from 1-10. 10 being the best.
Religion – Using spirituality instead of Christ. Score – 3. I don’t understand when bad things keep happening. Why the little things? Or why only big things? Why is Sally so fortunate?
Physical body – 4 Do I have kidney disease? Probably not. It was just a really bad UTI, combined with whatever else. I’m eating too much for no reason. I’m not hungry. I did okay today. SO, FAR. I hate histamine intolerance and gastroparesis. It ruins all my food.
Fun and recreation – 5 – I don’t do fun. But I do make time for the park because I have a dog. Without my dog, I would go way less. Probably once a month. Not much fun stuff these days.
Finances – 2 – ugh. The bane of my existence. I want to stay above water. The stress I feel. The lack of autonomy. The stress. I HATE IT.
Career and mission – 3 – Only considering career. Stuck in hell. I hate it. Need to get out. Want to get out.
Time – 4 – How am I supposed to feel with a job stealing my time? Okay, I can pay my basics. Well, not all the time. Like today, I had a coaching session (helpful, but time-consuming), and I applied for a job that always takes longer than I want. I want more time to relax and to work. I need to try time blocking, even though I’m time-blind.
Relationships – 2 – I should probably say 1 per the world’s people. But I don’t want friends. They are draining. People are draining to me. Great that they are good for you. Not everyone is you.
Personal growth and learning – 5 – I could be further along in this if I had more time. And I don’t want to focus on personal growth all the time. But I can do it while working daily. I may need to focus on a few key things and leave the rest for a month.
Emotional health – 3 – probably lower. My emotional regulation is out of control. So it should be lower.
The grades are about the same or worst, but time blocking will never work for me and I don’t care about “Sally” anymore. I don’t live in a why me state any longer. However, one reason I’m not religious is because of things like people starving to death, people dying due to war, and weather events. Still hate my job. 🙂