The site is still here on anotherparade.com. So, I guess the date in April is when this site will be gone. I canceled two things. One was on March 22 and the other was in April. I don’t remember the date. Anyway, on every post, until I get switched over, I’m going to post the “new” link where this blog will be.

Update: this site will expire on April 23, 2022

Just a few thoughts from today:

Ugh. Today sucked. It was a typical Wednesday. I got an error at work. Before getting gastroparesis, I let people walk all over me. Now I get mad and sometimes fight back. And with this supervisor, I feel like I’m rolling over. Just like I did before I had gastroparesis. Not a good feeling. But I know she will always win. HR is not on my side. They have to toe the company line. The company is paying them, so they will never go against the company. 

My stomachaches are back. I hope the gastroparesis isn’t coming back. I may be eating too much. Or maybe it’s the potato chips? I can’t eat the regular ones, but now that I’ve discovered I can tolerate the 65% fat-free ones, I have been eating about 10 chips a day. That is the only thing that has changed. I was so happy to be able to eat chips and now I can’t? I don’t know what to do. I will probably eventually stop eating them. No fun foods. 

Or I may be eating too much. I’m trying to get back to 113, but that seems impossible. I am eating somewhat what I used to eat and I’m not gaining weight. I need to stop forcing it. But I don’t want to get down to 105. 

I worked voluntarily overtime today which was pointless. Whatever. I don’t want to work for the rest of the day. That will be very hard. I burned out in 2020 and 2021 by working to death. Now I am working to death, and I’m not making nearly as much. So why not take one afternoon off? Even if I do something, it won’t make money today. 

I want to meditate. I wish I could just sleep all evening, but my body wouldn’t like that. Maybe I will just lay down and listen to audiobooks. 

I think it’s time to give up on my online course. It makes me sad because I’m announcing the course tomorrow! The last time I announced a course, I got so sick with gastroparesis that I didn’t finish it. Now, I won’t release for different reasons. 

I do have a few business ideas. Without the course, I don’t think I’m going to bring in a lot of money. Without doing any client work, I will be surprised if I make $1,500 this year. I have to pivot. It’s not so easy to pivot when I’m overly needy for money and I don’t have a great speaking voice. I hate that people judge me by my voice. Even if I said I had autism, it wouldn’t matter. If someone doesn’t like my voice, they won’t buy an online video course. 

I’m too scared to go into freelancing because I never know when my job will say overtime is mandatory. But I might do that in about 6 weeks. I have to make a decision. My gut says to put out a low-cost product. Not a lot of talking from me. Maybe I could hire someone to speak for the class I create, but an American would want a lot for that. I will open a new online shop and list a few classes. Start over with advertising on Pinterest only for now. 

That sounds okay, but it doesn’t bring money in today. I guess I will have to live with what I have today. 

The lawnmower is okay. I will blog more about that later.

Going to bed now. I hope I stop waking up at 4AM.