lol. I can’t swallow pills, and the pharmacy gave me extended-release meds. This will be a bumpy ride. Will I survive? Doubt I thrive. Welcome to May. My birthday month. I was trying hard not to make this month hell, but people are determined to ruin everything.

Mess with my health, and what can I do? It’s May 1 and I’m having withdrawal symptoms from not having the med. It affects blood pressure and heart rate. In fact, I was able to stop blood pressure medicine while on this med. OOPS. Let’s suddenly stop it. Okay… and now I will be crushing extended-release pills because that’s all I can get.

Nothing to see here. Of course, I don’t recommend anyone do what I am doing, but this is desperation from withdrawal symptoms. Today was not good: palpitations, dizziness, and confusion were my main symptoms. I didn’t check my BP.

It’s a bit scary to know that people who don’t see me as a valuable human have so much control over my health. It’s making me realize that being free of all medications and free of so-called “healthcare” from clinicians is an option to seriously consider.

And to make things worse, I’m on call for jury duty all month. Don’t give people the basics, but expect normalcy. Annoying. I will take an Uber if I have to. I can’t drive like this. I would do anything for them. Wreck my health for them.

I can’t really sit on a jury like this, so I might have to call and try to get an urgent telehealth appointment with a random doctor. But by next week (already called – no duty on Monday), the rebound hypertension should be going away, and it might be just insomnia, anxiety, and irritability. So I’ll likely go. I’m very used to insomnia.

Did someone say contact your doctor? I did. She’s the one who wrote the extended-release prescription despite my NEVER getting ER meds from her. I tried to get rid of her, but I checked online today, and she’s still listed as my doctor! ugh. Well, I’m too out of it to make sure I have a decent doctor before my next appointment, so for now I’m stuck with the worst doctor I have ever had in my life.

All in all, this is a great start to the month. In my opinion.

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What I Did This Week

Music of the Week

Books of the Week

No books finished since last weekend. I’m reading about 24 books right now. Give or take a book or two. Here are some of the books I’m trying to finish:

• The New Wife by Sue Watson (Fiction)
• The Club by Ellery Lloyd (Fiction) – Not sure about this book. It’s a good premise, but it’s not well written. But I will probably finish it.
• 1984 by George Orwell (Fiction?) – Since this is a reread, I’m not rushing to finish it, so I doubt I’ll finish this anytime soon. But if the other books are bad, then why not finish this?
• The Imposter (Fiction) by Adriane Leigh Book #2 of a series. I’m not a series person, but I liked book 1, and this has started out good so far.
• LSAT Prep 2026–2027 by Quin Becker (Nonfiction) No, I’m not taking the LSAT. Lol. I just like logic questions, so I’m doing these. This “genre” was an AI recommendation, so I was very skeptical that it would work for me. But I’ve done quite a few, and I like it! A new hobby? Perhaps. Wish I had a paperback version for ease, and maybe for jury duty, but those cost quite a bit. About $30 to $40. I might look for a used one. I’ll take a beat-up cover or bad pages, but not answered questions! Anyway, this book has 2,000 questions. I wish some of the directions were clearer, but so far, it’s good.

I have temporarily stopped looking for other good nonfiction. My interests have changed, and I can’t find a biography, how-to, or true crime novel that will hold my interest.

Quote of the Week

Everybody pretends that you
only die once. But that’s not
true. You can die to a thousand
possible futures in the course of
a single, stupid life.

No Cure for Being Human
Kate Bowler

*Some book links are affiliate links.

The pharmacy still hasn’t sent my extended-release medicine. Guess they want an early morning Monday chat. Sigh.