Impossible question. Again. But this time, I will only answer the question with three books and no explanation. (In no specific order)
- The Long Walk by Stephen King
- An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness by Kay Redfield Jamison
- The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander
Another survey! Posting survey answers here is probably better than what I would post if I just blogged about my daily life. So, here goes:
What are the biggest challenges or struggles you’re currently facing in your life?
How to answer this question without sounding like I’m depressed?
Biggest challenges: Working all the time with no end in sight. Tired. Not exercising. Bad memory. Messy house. Old dog. No spirituality because all I see is what is.
When you think about the kind of support that would really help you right now, what comes to mind?
No verbal communication. Texting and email support. People who won’t judge me. Loyal. Realistic. No toxic positivity. People who an meet others where they are. Reiki.
What are you most worried or concerned about as you move forward in your life?
No safety net. Every dollar I have comes from work I do. What happens when I can no longer work? Other than that, I try not to think about the future often.
One question for the universe?
Not sure… how does a person wait when they are poor or sick and lack sufficient faith that a second chance will come?
Imagine you’re living a life that feels aligned, empowered, and authentic—what would be different from how things are now?
Living in the flow. Beach every day. The sound of the waves. Freedom. No constant work. I rest when I want. I walk when I want. I travel. I spend lots of time learning for fun. I’m not scared.
How bleak...end of survey.
I have a deadline. I’ve been working more than usual. I’m so tired. My brain is fried. Wish I could say no more deadlines, but it would probably take me 3 months to get this done if I didn’t commit. And 50% of the time, I’m glad I did. I wish the percentage were higher for the price I’m paying. What’s the point?
It’s easy to say, “know your limits,” but in this world there’s an expectation of at least normal and sometimes it’s MORE. Want to hear about the last time I was too sick to meet the deadline and had to stop? Do you think they were understanding?
NO.
This is how I know my feelings about people (in general) are justified. Telling people like me to be around people is gaslighting. The whole narrative is pure manipulation.
If people traumatized you, being around them won’t help or heal you.
Music of May
- Ariana Grande
- Carrie Underwood
- Beyonce
- Jessica Willis Fisher
- Madonna
- Carly Rae Jepsen
- Griff
- Kelsea Ballerini
Movies of the week
Actual People – Directed and written by Kit Zauhar. Starring Isabelle Barbier. Released in 2021. Good movie. Glad the first “real movie” I’ve watched in almost a year was actually decent!
Actress – directed by Robert Greene. Released in 2014. A documentary that follows actress Brandy Burre around as she navigates work, relationships and being a mom. Sorry, this was kind of boring.
I LOVE movies about nothing. But documentaries about nothing? What’s the point? I don’t blame Brandy. It was the director’s fault. I only finished it because I was working while listening to it. I wouldn’t have made it past 30 minutes watching this without multitasking.
Brandy Burre was on The Wire. I’ve only seen a few episodes of The Wire and I’m not familiar with her character on the show or her other work.
One day I will watch all of The Wire. Maybe.
So tired. A lot is due tomorrow. This was a 45-minute break. Good night.