Where do I start? It depends on the day. We have enough people who are willing to talk about kids eating lunch, dogs getting adopted and other common things. There’s not enough being done in every state or country of the world, but enough people CARE.
People don’t care about disabled people (especially when it’s “invisible” like chronic pain, autism, bipolar, ADHD, schizoaffective disorder, intellectual disabilities, chronic fatigue etc.) There are also many diseases that aren’t invisible but extremely rare, so people don’t even know it exists.
I wish I could bring awareness to people who live with “invisible disabilities.” But people don’t listen to me which is fine. But there are others? Why aren’t’ people listening to them???? I even know how to say it, so it affects their money, but then it’s…wait, they don’t care about people, so you have to make it about money? HOW EFF’D UP IS THAT? But any disability awareness people need to make it about them if you want change. Except that or you will not get people on board.
My frustration with people is over the top as of right now. I need to stop reading comments on news stories. No social media. etc. People say isolation is bad. But not if they treat you and other people like you like crap. They won’t get it. So, my only option is to not to not be around toxic thoughts, which are people talking as if autistic teens and adults don’t exist.
You want me dead? Make me* be around people daily. It’s really simple. But people only consider it murder if it’s done by their hands and not their words and other actions. I can name things in history that shows their thinking is faulty. But why bother? It won’t change anything, and I’m done and exhausted.
***And people like me. Do I really need to keep saying it’s not just me? If it was, then it would be very understandable why no one gives a shit. There are 5 million adults with autism in The United States. And the majority are dealing with this on some level. It affects those of us working with and living with people who don’t know anything about autism more. We are depressed, anxious etc. And if people just cared enough, we would be much better off.
A few days ago, I saw someone say, “People thought we needed more access to information. But here we are with more access than ever, and people are incompetent.” Yes, information is more available about autism, neurodivergence, schizophrenia etc. but they don’t care. They aren’t even reading it! They think it doesn’t affect them, but it does.
Everything affects everyone. Sally having no place to live affects the lawyer who lives 10 miles away. But the lawyer would rather try to get more money (by tax cuts etc. Not just by working more or coming up with new ideas). Then he can continue to ignore Sally and her problems. And continue to complain about paying taxes. Don’t get me started.
Joe wouldn’t be happy if 90% of conversations and advice weren’t for him and no one ever acknowledges it. The best he gets is a, “I wasn’t talking to you then.” WTF. People are ugh. No one ever includes him. He is invisible to them, and he’s expected to just say nothing and be okay with it. Even though, they would never just “except it.”
You don’t want a person around you who sees you as an unemphatic person who doesn’t care if they live or die, so stop promoting it. ‘s a need to be around people. Who, exactly. Stop the vanilla advice that doesn’t work for so many.
Warning: What’s next seems like an abrupt topic change.
I rarely have cash. I don’t like cash. It’s easy to lose in more ways than one. I saw a homeless person outside the store. He wasn’t looking at me at all. It was like he knew not to bother. I was frantically trying to find my wallet before someone got behind my car. No one was behind me. I pulled out the dollar. He wasn’t looking, so I had to get his attention. I said, “You want this?”
These are the only social situations I can handle right now. “You want this?” Say yes or no, and we will never see each other again. But now, I’m anxious…what if he is there again??? I’m not going to be able to give him anything. I hope he doesn’t look in my direction. If this sounds like a lot. It is. But I’m used to it. Anyway, I’ve only been to that store twice. I didn’t see him the first time, so I’m not going to alter my behavior (like going to where I used to get groceries).
Isolation is good sometimes. When they overlook you, it’s okay to look away.
I have to go. I had the day off from my full-time job. But I have deadline in one of the other jobs. I will try not to stress myself out this weekend, but it’s an ongoing battle.
Another post, not by an intellectual. I wish I had enough time to attempt to be an intellectual. I would never “officially” be one though. I can’t even pretend!
TL:DR
People suck.