I’m going through questions in my business planner. One question is, what did you accomplish this month (October)? First, I am trying to remember what happened in October, so I will have to look at my journal. From the top of my head, I have:
No “official” mistakes at work. I get audited—a lot. So no mistakes is good. I’ve had no errors for two months in a row! This is the first time this has happened since I’ve been in this department (July 2020). I say official because I know I’ve made errors, but luckily, everything doesn’t get caught.
I released one of my main digital projects. I was supposed to have 2 to 3 projects done by November 1. I’ve spent a lot of today working on it, and I’m just over it. I’m tired of constantly working. I need time off. I want ONE DAY with nothing to do. That would be nice. Anyway, I’ve sold more digital products in October than ever. But the highest selling item was only 6.05. So I’m not seeing profit right now.
My anxiety was low for 2-3 weeks in October. It wasn’t due to yoga, smoothies, or meditation. I’m on a new medication because my old med can cause heart problems! I was on it for 2+ years, but whatever. Doctors are not geniuses. Some probably are. The anxiety came back last week. It came back in anger at the grocery store not delivering my food, and then I couldn’t get a refund! I chatted with about 18 customer service agents. No results.
I finally got my refund Friday night. And now I’m having money anxiety because I’m getting my car inspected tomorrow. If something is wrong, I can’t afford to get it fixed tomorrow, but if it is nothing major, I may be able to afford it on Thursday or Friday. My car is over 13 years old, so I’m worried about buying a used car with monthly payments. I can’t pay my bills now, how am I supposed to pay a car note?
I could last through the winter without a car if I didn’t have my dog. There are pet Ubers, but my dog would bark the whole time, AND I live in a small city, so it would be the same person both times. The person would reject the ride back, and I would be stuck at the vet with no way to get back. This sounds dramatic. But this happened to me in September!! I don’t think I ever blogged about that nightmare.
My point is that no medicine cures money anxiety when it’s right in my face. I’m no longer worried about the $4K I have to pay to the IRS in 2023. But I’m concerned about tomorrow, which is normal.
Not experiencing anxiety 24/7 for a couple of weeks was nice, though. A lot is coming up. If I can survive November, I will be okay. Anything could happen. I can’t control whether my car passes inspection tomorrow.
Oh, and I think my memory got better too! But every night, I would go back to not remembering anything. So I have to pay more attention to my memory. The memory loss was probably due to prolonged stress and burnout. It would be great if my memory loss disappeared one day, but…
We have required overtime at work in a couple of weeks. We haven’t had required OT in about ten months. I am not sacrificing my mental health for work.
I looked at my journal, and another accomplishment is that I unclogged the toilet without calling the property owner or a plumber. LOL. I’ve done it before. But I’ve never had to turn the water off and blah, blah. It was a lot of work; I know most people would have called someone. I would have called a plumber if I had the money (and my neighbors weren’t noisy).
So that’s that for accomplishments. Most months, I don’t have that many. Or none at all. I want to focus on paying my debt off in the near future, but I have to see what happens to my car tomorrow. And in 2023, I will ensure I get my car tuned up. I used to be good with this. But COVID happened, and I only got one oil change and nothing else.
I wish the housing market weren’t so bad. My dream house is still on the market the last time I checked. It’s four+ hours away. It’s where I went to college. A boring as fuck place. LOL. The house is under 700 square feet and on 1.43 acres. Hello? I want this house. But I probably couldn’t get the house even if I put down $20K from my 401K. So, I will have to let this one go for now.
I’m going back to my hometown tomorrow. I have to get up at 5 AM. Boo! I have yet to get up that early in YEARS. Since I worked in the office? Over ten years ago? And with this new med, I’m half asleep before 8 AM, even when I’m working. Wish me luck. My dog is coming. I have to pack for him and me. LOL. I’m only spending one day there. But I’m also doing laundry, so it’s a lot to take. I need to work, so I have to take this big-ass laptop too.
Gotta go pack and work a little more.
This Week I…
Music of the week: Christina Aguilera, Kelly Clarkson, Eminem, Lil’ Kim. Michelle Branch, Allure, Amy Grant, Ashanti
TV of the week: The Watcher, Housewives, Survivor
Podcasts of the Week: The Vanished, Truth & Justice, What Should I Read Next, Best Laid Plans, Book Talk, Etc., Canadian True Crime, Generation Why, True Crime Garage, All In with Chris Hayes, Hide & Seek. True Crime Bullshit
Books of the Week: I finished these books in the last two weeks:
Toxic Positivity by Whitney Goodman – ★★★★ 1/2 (four and half stars out of five) I finally finished this book! I borrowed the Book, and then I bought the audiobook because I figured this would be a book I want to own even though I agree with 99% of it, so why do I need to go back to it?? Anyway, here are my personal notes: Of course, I loved this book, I’ve been reading it forever! LOL. I took half of star off because she is a therapist, and she has some therapist crap in there, but not too much. I’m fine with 99% of this book. I feel this book is best for the workplace. If someone said this toxic positivity crap to me, I wouldn’t talk to them. But every manager, healthcare professional, teacher, and parent needs to read this book.
Deliver Us: Three Decades of Murder and Redemption in the Infamous I-45/Texas Killing Fields by Kathryn Casey ★★★★ (four stars out of 5) I finished this book late at night, so no personal notes. I like the author. But this book was hard to keep up with. I still don’t know how many victims there were. She kept going back and forth. This may be because of my cognitive issues and not her fault at all. I like when people tell a story in order, especially nonfiction. But overall, a decent read, but I don’t know who did what. I only resonated with one victim’s mom. So I don’t know whether this book deserves 4 stars.
Goal for Next Week: Make it through the week with less anxiety and less (or no) anger at management for requiring overtime. I know how they operate. Profit over people. Anger won’t solve it. I’m off Monday and Tuesday. I wish I could take Tuesday completely off. It’s 6 PM right now, and my brain is fried because I’ve been working all day. Well, I went grocery shopping this morning and worked the rest of the day.
Weekend Plans: Go to sleep by 9:30, so I can get up at 5AM. I will still be tired because of the new meds. I need to pack right after I post this, and then I have a 15-minute meeting with a biz coach at 7:30 PM that I didn’t know about until she emailed me. I can’t afford to work with her one-on-one so I’m glad she offered 15 minutes as a bonus. Right now, I’m going to pack for tomorrow’s trip!
Thanks for reading. Have a great week. This font seems off to me, but I’m going to hit publish and see how it looks.
I feel nervous about this, but if you want to read more of my writing, you can check out the site below. Some of the posts are locked to make money. I write almost daily there. But most months I will write at least 12 days a month. Btw, the posts are not long. 300 words is the average length.
