Today is like a Wednesday. I usually have bad Wednesdays. But Thursday (today) started out bad, probably because I bought a business laptop last night. This thing better work for at least six years. I have a two-year warranty that will cover everything.

No, I can’t afford the computer. No, I don’t have a credit card to pay for it. I had to apply for credit. They gave me a shitty APR and $1,000. I hate debt. I think credit cards are evil unless I can pay them off monthly. The payments are $55 a month for two years. Of course, I will try to pay it off in one year.

I’m sick of these crappy laptops. I run a business. I need a computer that works—what a concept. The specs are good, but is it worth the $979 (not including taxes and warranty)? I’m getting the HP 17 Laptop, 17.3”, in about a week because Amazon is punishing me for not having Prime.

Main specs:

Brand	HP
Series	17
Screen Size	17.3 Inches
Color	Silver
Hard Disk Size	1 TB
CPU Model	Core i7 Family
Ram Memory Installed Size	16 GB
Operating System	Windows 11 Home

I don’t know whether I need 1 TB of space. I save 90% of the stuff to the cloud because I’ve been used to dealing with computers that only last two years or less. So why save it on the laptop? And I would NEVER get a 17.3-inch laptop if I traveled a lot. Ugh, too big. I take my laptop everywhere – from LA to Mexico. I didn’t take a computer to NYC, probably because I knew I wasn’t staying that long. I think I stayed 2 nights?? I can’t remember.

I’m not traveling anytime soon, but if this computer lasts six years, I hope to take it somewhere. Would I want to take this big thing on a plane? NO. So, I might try with my old Chromebook and phone. As long as I don’t have to work, I don’t need this laptop. In May 2023, I hope to go to a cabin for 2-3 nights. I will bring my laptop since I will be in a car.

So I must cancel things to make sure I can pay this off and all my other bills. Most things I’ve canceled this week were free trials, so they don’t count because I never spent money. And I was thinking about getting a cheap printer with an extended warranty. The affordable printer will give out in a year if I get a three-year warranty. I have a three-year printer. Sigh. Not on my radar right now.

I’m canceling a business membership I like. That’s $37 a month. And I need to cancel one more thing. I have a few small subscriptions to keep my planner shop stocked. But I’m going to have to let some of those things go. But, of course, I can always go back and join even though the price will probably be higher.

I don’t need a lot of things in the shop. But I HAVE TO have a 2023 planner. That’s a must. I have the bones of one. However, I haven’t even started putting it together. Do I want only a business planner or a business and regular planner? And what about daily or weekly? Don’t even get me started on undated or dated. If I could hire someone to date the planner, I would. But unfortunately, I have no idea how long that takes, so I don’t even know if I can afford it.

So I will be making the hard decision on what to cancel. It’s not that hard. This is a new venture, and I want all the options. But I can’t afford all the options, so I’m going to offer a few good things over giving people options. Most people don’t have time to choose. They know what they want or they will just look at what they see first and buy it if they want it or leave the website.

Oh wow, it looks like my computer is coming by UPS tomorrow. What else weighs 7 pounds? That was quick. Amazon is still saying I will get it next Thursday through Saturday. This isn’t the worse problem in the world. But UGH, do I hate setting up everything with passwords. And I still have stuff on this computer that I have to put in the cloud. I guess I know what I will be doing on Labor Day. I wish I could continue using this computer, but it keeps shutting down.

I would try to sell this computer for $100 and get very specific about the issues, but I don’t know what you CAN do. Have one browser with one tab open? That might work. A simple game like chess might work. Nothing fancy. MS Word is probably okay, but not with many documents open. I don’t think it’s worth trying to sell, even though memory might be able to be added. I have no idea. I don’t care. This computer sucks.

I also will be cutting back on food. Before gastroparesis, I could eat ramen every day and be fine. But ramen makes me nauseous these days. I can’t think of a really cheap food I can eat. I’m now seasoning my chicken because I am so tired of eating chicken. I force myself to eat. I can’t eat anything! I stopped taking my vitamin for most of July and some of August due to the price (about $45 for a month’s worth.). I’m back to taking it daily. That is where my nutrients come from. I hope I don’t have to stop that again.

I’m going grocery shopping on Saturday. I have to keep my bill low. I can’t use a calculator because I will forget what I have already calculated. LOL. This would only work if everything had a price on it, and then I could spread stuff out and get the total when I’m done. Then I could put stuff back or maybe get more. I think there may be an app for this, but my phone is always on my list. I will lose a paper list. I think there might be a paid app for this. I hope I can find it before Saturday.

One more thing, and then I’ve got to go: I chatted with a person who gets people with disabilities a mentor. The mentor has a disability too. The talk with the organizer went okay, BUT I almost died when she suggested that I become a mentor in six months because I’m established. Uh, I’m falling about nearly every day. I wouldn’t leave my house that often if I didn’t have a dog. I’m (badly) dealing with burnout!

Plus, doesn’t mentoring involve talking? The worst part is that she set up two back-to-back meetings on Zoom with two mentors in two weeks. WTF. Introverts don’t want meetings like that. Not when we have to talk. I don’t mind if I don’t have to say anything. This is a lot. I NEVER, EVER have meetings with clients back to back. I don’t like meetings at all, of course. But when one person books on my calendar, I usually close off the rest of the week. That is how much energy it consumes.

I did ask for 4 hours off that day, and I will probably get it. I don’t know what I’m going to do with that time. Meditate? Nap? Go to the park? I want to be relaxed. 1 hour trip to the park and a 1-hour nap (if I can nap that early) would be good. I think.

I’m not going to mention my neuro intake. Blah. I’m waiting for her to make an appointment for the test. She does seem nice. She doesn’t believe my insurance will cover it, but my insurance has NO limits on mental health. I have a limit on acupuncture, though. I can get 26 visits yearly, but I’m not paying $55 for each session. I have done a little research. It can help with gastroparesis, but everyone I know says it doesn’t help that much. I should try it for stress. I don’t know. I don’t like leaving the house for $55. Last year I didn’t have an option for acupuncture through my insurance, so, um, thanks.

I didn’t mention anything about neuro.

This Week I…

Music of the week:  John Mayer, The Chicks, Ingrid Andress, Sugarland, Ariana Grande, The Wreckers, Taylor Swift, Katharine McPhee

TV of the Week:  Big Brother, Housewives, Selling Sunset

Podcasts of the Week: The Vanished, Truth & Justice, Generation Why, The Goal Digger Podcast, The Yellow Car, Park Predators, True Crime Garage, Behind the Bastards, Court Junkie, Pod Save America

Books of the Week: 2022 started off slow for reading, but now I have a list of 3 books I’ve read since I last posted.

Sleep, My Child Forever, The Riveting True Story of a Mother Who Murdered Her Own Children by John Coston ★★★★ Non-fiction. I don’t think I’d ever heard of this case before. SPOILER?? My personal notes were: Not too detailed. Sad book. Killing your kids for money and having nothing to show? And no remorse? Personality disorder. She must have gone through trauma as a kid. If they mentioned it, I don’t remember.

What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo ★★★★ 1/2 Non-fiction. Memoir. Personal notes: Great for people who want to know they are not alone with C-PTSD. Probably helps people with PTSD too.

How Are You, Really?: Living Your Truth One Answer at a Time by Jenna Kutcher ★★★★ 1/2 No notes for this one. Loved it. I found this book refreshing and motivational for a person who is really selective about what personal development books I read. I’ve taken two of her business classes. But I didn’t know much about her before reading this book. Unfortunately, her podcast is too ‘how to take a break (everyone can’t take a break!) and ‘how to make six figures, but there are some decent episodes. 

Goals for next week: Boring goals. Do well at work. Blah. I did okay this week, but the last two weeks were not great. Get organized.

Weekend plans: Grocery shopping and to the park on Saturday. On Sunday, I have to mow the lawn. I will probably take Monday off. My laptop is coming late tomorrow. I’m NOT moving files tomorrow. But I need to use it to do client work, so….ugh. I will set it up Saturday or Sunday. I must list things to cancel and have a low overhead for business expenses. And I can’t buy a lot of food.

LOL. I have been writing this entry off and on all day. I felt like I haven’t blogged in forever. If I have a lot to do, this blog sometimes comes last. Sometimes it helps to type it out, so it depends. Hope to be back in a week or two.

💜✿ Have a great Labor Day…if you celebrate.