Just because you can’t see it
Doesn’t mean it isn’t there
I know my symptoms are going to get worse by working. But they won’t let me get SSDI. I can’t live on less. So why do they think I’m working at all? Because I like it? No, I’m burned out. I took almost two weeks off in January. That did not help. If I hadn’t tried the “taking time off” thing, I would really think that would work. But now I know.
I might never recover. I know I will not recover if I’m still working at this horrible place.
There are no options for people like me. He also said my job is skilled. Okay. So, do I keep working until I end up inpatient at the hospital or dead? That is the real question. I will probably go to the hospital first. But I’m not going to kill myself while my dog is alive.
Take your “help and resources” and shove them up your ass. There is nothing for PEOPLE LIKE ME.
I am a great example of burnout of how capitalism kills. If any journalist wants to profile it, here I am. I don’t think my story is enough for a feature, but get five people going through burnout together, and they cannot get help; hello, I’m right here.
I should write the story myself. And I will, but right now, I’m not doing shit. I’m working. I’m taking a month off from my business. I might take September off too, but I have about 5 days off at the end of September. I might be ready to work then.
The last thing I want to see is normal people going through their life talking about Monkey Pox or the economy. Yeah, we ALL have to deal with that. But, the more you have saved, the less the economy will affect you. So, not everyone should be worried, but some people are greedy. And they are apprehensive about their millions.
I can’t take any more rejection. I’ve been rejected my whole life. Typical for anyone with autism. But I am dealing with not having money, burnout, other chronic issues, and being STUCK.
The United States has put me in a corner. Why wasn’t I born somewhere else? Sorry for the snobbiness, but I don’t want to live in Columbia, Russia, or Honduras. I can probably name more countries. It’s not about the country. It’s more about resources. The more money you have, you can visit anywhere. Mexico even makes it a little tough to get citizenship. If you have $50K in the bank, it’s pretty easy.
I’m taking tonight off. I do have to do 2.5 hours of overtime tomorrow. Or Sunday. I’m so tired that I don’t want to take my dog to the park tomorrow. I’d rather sit my ass in a chair and work than walk around in the hot sun. But I will take him Sunday even if it’s raining. I love walking in the light rain.
I am going to get written up at work. ROFL. Not for the usual things, but it all goes to getting fired from there. I don’t care. I don’t mind. I would like to know how long I will have my job, though. I think I have at least 3 months.
I have a disability (or 3), and I’m getting fired. Does anyone want to lecture me about the ADA? LOL.
I need to cash out my 401K and leave. But that won’t last long because of all the taxes and fees.
Whatever. I’m going to relax as others do on Fridays. Fuck them all.
P.S.
Kale is a great anti-histamine. If you have allergies, give that a try along with any medicine. What else did working so much get me? A bad immune system – ALLERGIES! I didn’t have allergies until 2-3 years ago. This job gave me allergies, gastroparesis, and burnout. But I can’t get SSDI payments for what they did. Grr. It’s MY money.
🌠🌠Woohoo! I just made 1.97 in my digital product business. Well, it will be about 1.37 when they take out the fees. I don’t know why they emailed me that 1.97 price as if I’m getting that. I’m trying to get rid of that product, by the way. LOL. I have a much better similar product at 3.27. Even if I priced it lower, it will take people a long time to buy because it has no reviews.
This Week I…
Music of the week: Beyonce, Maggie Rogers, Sutton Foster, The Secret Sisters, Taylor Swift, Jewel, Keala Settle, Kelly Clarkson
I’m not a big Beyonce fan. I’m a harsh critic of her. It’s not HER; it’s what people project onto her. She lipsynchs at concerts and doesn’t write her songs. All that is fine, but people think she does everything. I do believe she may be a big part of how her concerts go. And things like that. Anyway, love the new album. I almost didn’t listen to it because I always am disappointed in her music.
TV of the Week: Big Brother, Housewives, Candy
Podcasts of the Week: The Vanished, Truth & Justice, Generation Why, The Goal Digger Podcast, The Anxious Achiever, Hide & Seek, Joyful Marketing, Dateline, Crimelines, Father Wants Us Dead
Books of the Week: I finished The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson. I think I wrote about this before??? I can’t remember anything. My job ALSO gave me amnesia. I gave it ★★★ 3 stars because it’s only for middle-class people. I don’t like when groups are ignored. My personal notes: Not awesome. He grew up wealthy, so what does he know about having nothing?? Started off good, but the last part came off as privileged.
Goal for Next Week: I have no idea. Today is Friday. I have a day off next week. Yay. Just survive. Not breakdown. Not go to the hospital.
Weekend Plans: Organize the files on my computer. Not joking. Relax. Work overtime. Do very little work in my biz. Since I just got that one sale, I’m thinking of my unfinished things. Ugh. I will not spend more than 2 hours working on my biz.
Have a good week. I hope you get to get to rest, but I understand if you can’t.