If I survive the next two weeks at work, I will probably have my job through March. Maybe April. It’s a long story, but it’s due to my leave. I took 13 days off (including the weekend). I haven’t had that much time off from a job in over a decade!

I mainly want my job because I have doctor’s appointments. I have a 3-part autism test. That starts on March 16. I also need a mammogram and to see the OB/GYN. If I didn’t want birth control to stop my period, I wouldn’t care about the OB/GYN. A lot of doctor’s appointments and no PTO. Perfect!

If I lose my job, I will go full-time in my business and freelance. I will not have health insurance. It would probably take me six months of consistent freelancing to make any kind of money. And I’m working going full-time in my business. My biz wasn’t made for me being sick or for going full-time, so I have to change some things. 

I need to focus on selling digital products. I have one I’m working on now. I will try to finish it by April 1. It will be primarily an eBook with a few videos. I made an all online video course once, and it was so much work, but 5 or 6 people bought it! I never tried to sell it again, so I don’t know how much I could have made. It doesn’t help that I have a flat affect when nervous. (Probably an autism thing). I think it would be easier and quicker to do videos than to write it out, but I’m not sure. I’ve never written a course before. I just write outlines. 

So, the book contest thing probably won’t happen. I’m not going to waste time getting a book done by February 28 when I need to make money! But, I might still enter if I get to 10,000 words edited. As of today, I have 4,000 words edited. The contest people will laugh when they see much less than 100,000 words. My entry will be a joke.

I went back to work on Thursday. I guess it was okay for me to be there. Who knows? Thursday was easy work, so I wasn’t highly stressed. Friday was a bit tougher, but it was okay. 

I learned with my break what it is like to have an average level of stress. It was great. But it’s over. I just had money stress. Don’t get me wrong. Money is a big deal. But being stressed out all the time due to work landed me in an ER. I’ve had money problems most (not all) of my adult life, and it’s not the same for me. I can occasionally zone out about money worries. I’m used to that. I can distract myself.

Next week will be difficult because I will be worried that I will get an email from HR or my manager. Fuck. Well, I will have to do without health insurance and consistent income for a while. And I’m worried about things I can’t cancel. I have bills to pay. My credit card debt payment decreased this month because of my unpaid leave and ER copay. 

I just thought of the taxes I will have to pay by April 15. Ugh. Time to go. 

This Week I…

Music of the week: Janet Jackson, Patty Griffin, Demi Lovato, Miranda Lambert, Boyce Avenue, Joy Oladokun, Linkin Park, Joss Stone

TV of the Week:  Dexter, Housewives, Big Brother

Movie of the Week: Marry Me (2022). Not shocking that this movie wasn’t great. I watched the first 20 minutes and then started doing other stuff. Hard to rate a movie like this. Jennifer Lopez and Own Wilson fans will probably enjoy it.

Podcasts of the Week: The Vanished, Crimelines, Generation Why, Morbid, Dateline, 10% Happier

Books of the Week:  I finished Doing Harm by Kelly Parsons. It’s a medical thriller. Not great. But it was okay. I don’t know what to say about this book. Don’t read this book if you have to like the main characters. I don’t read many medical thrillers, but I love them, so I just kept reading. Some parts were a little dull or seemed unnecessary. I give it 3.5 stars. ★★★ 1/2

I’m still reading Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed by Lori Gottlieb. It’s good so far. 

Goal for Next Week:  To not get stressed out. People tell people with high blood pressure to exercise and lose weight. I’m underweight. I walk my dog every day for at least 25 minutes a day. I’m supposed to do yoga daily, but I missed Friday. I worked until bed and forgot. I’m eating average for someone with gastroparesis. Some people can only eat junk food. I’m lucky to be able to eat chicken and beef. Anyway, my point is I’m supposed to be eating healthier, but not this week. LOL. I hate cooking. And the foods I can eat are minimal. Maybe I will give thought to this during the week. I’m going grocery shopping for the next 30 days next weekend. 

I’m going to walk my dog. I hope we get a little longer walk today. It’s 70 degrees. Hopefully, too many people aren’t out. 

Thanks for reading! Have a great week.