I don’t even remember how I met him. This is strange because I don’t know a lot of people. Anyhow this was during my 1st year of college…before the major depression. I was 20 or 21. I wasn’t exactly happy. I definitely didn’t feel a need to date or even make friends. Well I felt like friends were a lost cause at this point.

We talked on the phone a few times. He wasn’t in school. He was physically attractive. I’m not 100% sure he had a full-time job. I remember him asking me about my ambitions. I didn’t have specific answers. I had dreams but how far can a socially inept person get in life? I didn’t go to college to get a job. I went to runaway from home.

Then we had a casual “date”. I’d never been on a dress up date so casual sounded fine. We went to Taco Bell. ha! I’d never eaten there so I ordered nothing. He met up with someone at Taco Bell. I overhead him telling his friend that I was ‘wife material’. Which was absolutely hilarious to me. Right then I knew this was going to be a loooooong day and why the hell did I go? I was (and still am) sure about not being anyone’s wife. That is not for me. What I didn’t know was that this was going to get way worse and uncomfortable.

I drove my car. He had me driving several places. I wanted desperately to go home. Later someone would point out, did he have a gun to your head? NO, thank g-d but I was scared to death and I never said NO to anyone. I was imagining ways of escaping the whole time. This lasted for maybe 5 hours. Finally we went to what would be the last place. We were talking. Well he was talking. I didn’t say much at all. He said I was sweet (ew!). He began implying we would have sex….um double ew! Eventually he left the house for a while , I got in my car and drove off. I knew he would be coming back soon. I had no idea where I was. Eventually a police officer gave me directions on how to get back to campus.

I’d never been so glad to see my dorm room! I felt so relieved to have escaped with my virginity intact. I knew I would not have said NO. I’m “sweet”. Or I’m scared to death. Pick one. I did not feel bad about stranding him until later. At the time I felt like I was being “held”.