They murdered me, but still left my body here. Sigh. Can they do anything right? Or maybe that’s part of the plan. Death by a thousand cuts.

Oh god. Ha. 

Their “burnout?”

“Usually alleviated by changing jobs or taking a vacation.”

Am I supposed to pretend not to be insulted? Like I’m above it? Because I’m not. Cleary. Please don’t give burnout advice to autistic people. PLEASE. I’m begging. This is serious. An effing vacation?! 

Btw, my burnout is due to working, AKA overworking, because I have to, plus living in an unaccommodated and brutal world. So, feel free to ignore all the “autistic people aren’t burned out due to working a lot.” EXCUSE ME. I don’t exist to anyone. And that’s fine. Keep erasing me. I don’t need to hear this said. I already know. I see actions and the lack of services and accommodations. So continue to SAY whatever. 

I already know.  I’m living it. 

I asked for an accommodation. It was denied. What’s that? Ask for help? HUH? Did that. Anymore helpful advice? No sarcasm here. Someone must know something…right? What’s next? Get another job? They probably would say that. Brutal world. I’m beginning to see the issue…

Why don’t I just quit? Or get SSDI for my disability? Now it’s going too far. I’m suddenly not finding these jokes funny. It sounds like a fantasy novel. Wish I could live in that world. 

Teach me more about autistic burnout. More that no one knows – including doctors, counselors, nurses, professors, teachers, managers, coworkers, neighbors, parents, etc. (Didn’t mean to leave anyone out.)

The “No Clean-Up Crew” Metaphor “Autistic burnout is like having all of your internal resources exhausted beyond measure and being left with no clean-up crew.” — Raymaker et al. (2020)

True. Facts. Living it. Lived it. And the number of times I’ve been told to take a break. And the number of times I have taken a break.  It has NEVER worked. Amazing. It’s like they are wrong. Loud, persistent, and wrong to be exact, and a little catty. 

More on this concept of autistic burnout that has been named for over a decade (by research, and prior to that by the lived experience of autistic adults). We need more info so they can continue to ignore it. I think I’m doing this right. 

Autistic burnout is a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic life stress and a mismatch of expectations and abilities without adequate support. Chronic Exhaustion: Pervasive, physical, long-term (3+ months). Loss of Skills: loss of executive function, speech, or independent living capabilities. Reduced Tolerance to Stimulus: narrowing window of tolerance to sound, light, and social interaction. 

3 months? What is it called when it’s six years? Only 6 years of it being really bad. Prior to that is was just a little fatigue. Oh, I’m not implying I have an emergency.  Because surely there would be HELP. I’m joking. Clearly.

Btw, I was told autistic burnout wasn’t a thing by a therapist 3 or 4 years ago. Should I mention how I feel about therapists, or is this a family blog? Don’t get me started on neuro-affirming therapy because not all of them are real either. (Some just want work, so “hand me an autistic person or whatever.”)

Nothing for imaginary folk with imaginary problems. Do exactly what you are supposed to do (what they told you to do)  and end up with this. I was good enough for limited labor roles, but now toss me out. 100% all my fault, right? Conventional wisdom is lovely. I think I just need a vacation, and then I’ll be good.