I have Parkinson’s. I haven’t had it officially diagnosed yet when you have every single symptom, you kind of know. And my medical conditions and crappy doctors contributed to me being very at risk for it.

I don’t know when I will get diagnosed. I have no idea how busy the specialists here are. Maybe in a month or two if they are taking new patients.

Suddenly every pain feels more painful. Now that i know. I have a very low pain tolerance. I’m extremely sensitive to pain so I can say it’s not really pain because I’m not taking anything so it can’t be that bad. Maybe muscle fatigue is a better phrase.

I can barely open any cans or packages. And I just lost my last my of scissors. Bad timing. But I will get some next week. I misplaced my knife too. So, ugh. Everything is too hard to open.

All of this happened slowly over 2-3 years. It’s hard to say exactly since I can’t measure time.

I’m still working 24/7. For how long, America? Give me my SSDI! They don’t think I’m worthy but their opinion won’t figure in when I can barely move.

My main concern is pain in the future and sleep while I’m overworking. I need fuel to work this much. Otherwise, I’m fine with death. But not a painful death. Please?

I know I’m not entitled to a pain free death.

Yesterday, I realized I may never travel overseas (or anywhere) again. But hello, show me the money! Where is the money? So, I can’t blame Parkinson’s on me being stuck in the United States for the remainder of my life. It’s also a lack of resources. Glad I got to go to Mexico, though.