I am contemplating how to express my true feelings to the individuals who have caused me pain and explain how they have hurt me. On one hand, my cynical side tells me that they are indifferent and won’t care about my words. On the other hand, my “nice” side suggests that they might learn something from my perspective and potentially apply it. It’s hard to believe, isn’t it?

I believe it’s time for me to distance myself from people. If my time is limited, I don’t want to waste it dealing with others. Unfortunately, I lack support from anyone except my dog, especially considering my impending demise. And, of course, my loyal companion is unaware of the situation.

Perhaps it’s accurate to say that people truly do disappoint. I must let go of them and focus on finding joy.

Should I make plans for the next five years? Is that too ambitious? Should I anticipate another medical examination or simply accept the reality? Either way, disappointment is possible, and I despise feeling let down.

I will make plans for the next five years, with a projected death in 2028. I will continue running my business for as long as possible and quit working as soon as possible. Is it really that straightforward?

Should I behave as if I am going to die or act as if I should and live without acknowledging the impending end?

This Week

Music of the week: Jennifer Pena, Shania Twain, Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, The Chicks, Jessie James Decker, Jewel, Miranda Lambert

Books of the week: Now reading –

Brain on Fire by Susannah Cahalan: Good book. I was a little disappointed in her DX. But the writing is good. She wrote, or maybe still does, for the New York Post. I’d never heard of her. I used to read the NYP daily in college. I never read it now.

American Whitelash by Wesley Lowery – I don’t know whether I will finish this. I like how the subject of Obama’s winning caused Trump to win, but I felt like I LIVED this, so do I have to read this? I did learn a few new things last night, so it’s not that I know everything. It depends on how many books I have.

The Lives We Actually Have by Kate Bowler – I will probably like this. The 1st book I read by her was when she had terminal cancer. Obviously, I’m going to reread that.

TV of the week: I don’t have a TV. Should I call this streaming of the week? Anyway, I’m watching You season 2 or 3 again. I started the most reason season but stopped. There were too many people, and I rarely watched when I wasn’t doing anything, so it was impossible to keep up with who is who and why he wanted to kill this person. I still love the show, but ugh.

Also watching – RHOBH, Big Brother

Podcasts of the week: Truth and Justice, Who Killed My Mother, True Crime BS, Generation Why, What Should I Read Next?

Weekend plans: I haven’t posted here on a Friday in at least 6 months. Wow. I worked a lot this week. I have a digital product coming out next month. I have NEVER been so proud of a product before. I really want it to succeed. Success means people finding it useful and selling a few. I would be THRILLED to sell 5 of these. I will have it on sale for the 1st week, so selling five won’t get me much money over $50 but under $75. This 1st launch is only about learning how to sell it. $75 is a lot to me. It can cover my vitamins or medical bills. Ugh. Woe is me. Gotta go on that note.

Should I work tonight for 30 minutes or play with my making a planner? I’m not tired, so I will work and plan if I don’t suddenly get sleepy. Hope everyone had a good week.