When people say things or events drain them, I’m like, “I wish I felt that.” I don’t feel drained anymore. I’m drained all the time, so I don’t recognize it. I guess this is a by-product of burnout. If a person can feel drained, that means they have energy!

Hope I can decipher my handwriting. I wrote most of this entry at the park yesterday:

From May 18, 2023

I got hit with jury duty next week. Tell me the universe isn’t against me. I’m moving in less than 2 weeks and getting jury duty. ???

And the part that pisses me off? The bank won’t leave me alone. They probably know it’s my birthday (2 days ago) because they know more about me than my mom, my therapist, everyone!

Two birthdays in a row were destroyed by humans. So what do I do? Avoid humans on my birthday. Miss avoidant. I won’t ever spend time with my mom on my birthday unless we are on vacation.

She is the most boring person. People think of me that way, but you haven’t met my mom. My mom’s favorite activity is watching TV. I only watch a few shows and never live. She doesn’t like nature. How can we be related?

All my perfect days involve nature. No nature on my birthday. No peace. No real beauty. Nothing! Nada. Zilch.

I’m at the park right now. I’m ignoring the bank and enjoying nature. So quiet. Serene. Peaceful. I wish I could do this every day. Would I eventually take it for granted?

I think my dog would rather walk than sit. He lets me do human things sometimes. Eventually, he will get fed up.

The sound of the water is lovely. I miss the beach. I haven’t been to the beach since 2018.

Here is a pic I took for this blog:

Dream life

My mentor wants me to write about my dream life. I’ve done this so many times. And my dream doesn’t change that much. I know what I want.

I’m living it right now at the park. Freedom. Freedom to be me. Don’t want to answer anyone. No time restrictions. Freedom. Peace, quiet, my dog, and nature.

I need nature daily, preferably with water. That seems like a stretch. But this is my dream life. Somewhere to go that is quiet for 1 hour a day. With nature and water. No other people. And one animal is fine. I would love for it to be my home. I don’t want to have to drive.

That’s it for my journal entry at the park yesterday.

I thought I had the house, but I haven’t closed. The bank is obsessed with my finances. My finances are normal. Well, very low. But nothing weird, and they want proof for every little thing. They wanted to know why I was paying the IRS. Uh, ever heard of quarterly taxes??? It’s not a bill or a payment plan. It’s a thing people do. All. the. time. Voluntarily. GASP. Yes, some people pay taxes. They work at a bank, so I’m confused why they seem unaware of this.

And yes, I have several savings accounts. One has $5. One has under $1. One has $68 dollars. Okay, this might be weird. LOL. I love giving them proof of things. But I can’t provide proof that I don’t owe the IRS. I can’t prove a negative. I gave them my 2022 taxes. Apparently, that isn’t good enough.

So I 99% have the house, but they are still working on things. I can’t wait until I close and never have to answer these basic questions again. Trying to be nice. Ha.

This Week

Music of the week: Jewel, Beyonce, Andra Day, Janelle Monae, Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Hailee Steinfeld, Alana Davis

TV of the week: Vanderpump Rules, Pretty Little Liars, Survivor

Books: I’ve finished a few books since I did an actual entry. First, I finished The Brain Fog Fix by Dr. Mike Dow ★★★★ Good. I hate that I can’t eat all the food he suggests. But this is an excellent book for most people. I love that it is holistic and not a typical health book.

I finished Histamine Intolerance: A Comprehensive Guide for Healthcare Professionals by Dr. Janice Joneja. Great book. I wish healthcare professionals would read it. Unfortunately, some don’t even acknowledge histamine intolerance. It was repetitive, but it’s supposed to be a reference book. Good read. Not long. It’s supposed to be for doctors, but not written in a hard-to-understand way. I know a lot about this subject. 4 stars. ★★★★

I finished Spiritually Fierce: Are you ready to Surrender to your unlimited self? by Ricci-Jane Adams, Ph.D. today. So good. I felt the need to finish this book even though I was skeptical throughout most of the book. It gets good at the end. I rarely read spiritual books I think I can follow. So, this is exciting for me. I’m giving it 5 stars now, but I’m rereading it again right now, so I may take off a star. I feel like I was reading the beginning without really taking it in. She’s also a doctor. She explains intuition in a different way. I still think neurodivergent people may experience intuition differently. ★★★★★ (five stars!)

Podcasts of the week: Truth & Justice, Histamine Intolerance Podcast, Best Laid Plans, The Neurodivergent Nurse, True Crime BS, Crimelines, True Crime Garage, Astrology Podcast, Gone Cold Podcast, The Vanished Podcast, When Reality Hits, Straight Up with Stassi, New Dimensions Radio

I had time off from work this week. No calls on Monday. That was nice. Then on my birthday, and until now, constant calls from the bank. A bunch of requests for documents. NONSTOP. So, not a great “vacation.”. I worked today. And I will probably work all next week. It depends on jury duty. Well, they are giving us Friday off for Memorial Day. We might have required overtime. I don’t know. I haven’t been there all week. I know I missed something. If they make us do overtime while we have a holiday.??? I mean, WTF!

I haven’t packed. I did clean. I don’t have much to pack, but it will get bad if I don’t do it. So, I will do that and stuff for the business I’ve been avoiding.

So much to do, and people want so much more (jury duty, going into the office to work, etc). I want to scream: I HAVE ENOUGH TO DO. WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME DO THINGS I DON’T HAVE TO DO?

Anyway, I’m glad I had time to blog. I am supposed to be on May 31. I hope that happens. Will the mover come is the main concern. I should close next week, but now that I have jury duty, that is messing up my schedule. I don’t know my schedule because of jury duty! Can the g-d or the universe mess with someone who isn’t moving??? Thanx

Gotta. Go. Enjoy your weekend and week! 🙂