My life probably doesn’t make sense to most people. lol. I find it freeing to live the life I do. No major obligations (but I still have crap to do). It’s not complete freedom. I wish it was! It’s hard to explain. I see life as something that has to be endured but in the end, you die.* There is comfort in knowing death is coming. My nightmare would be to live forever. Often times I feel if there is a god, he/she will make me live forever (or until 85) as a form of punishment.

I value freedom deeply. Freedom to live. Freedom to die. Freedom to do whatever. I value other things too (justice etc.) But my #1 value is probably freedom. That is how I make most of my decisions.  I know some people would judge this as a bad way to live but whose life is it? Oh, I also value security too. I can judge that as a bad value for myself. It is too confining.  How do you balance freedom and security?  Things are always changing so is there EVER security? I need to let “security” go.

This is in no way finished but I really have to go.

*I don’t believe in heaven or hell. I do believe in reincarnation. It’s something I rarely think about though.

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Off to do school work for one hour, then nap, then more school work.