I was so bummed to hear about Michael Hastings‘ death. He was only 33 years old. 🙁 So talented. I first read his work in Rolling Stone.

He will be missed.

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I don’t know if this is going to work out and I know it seems like a dumb thing to do. But what else do you do when you have rent on two places to pay?? Today I applied to borrow $5000.00 from my 401k. I have an agreement to pay it back in three years but of course I will try to pay it off sooner. IF I GET THE LOAN. I will find out tomorrow or Thursday. I need the money so bad. I am so bad off financially. This could be my miracle.

The bad thing is having to pay it ALL back immediately if I lose my job or switch jobs. That sucks and is scary. I’m definitely not switching jobs if I get the loan. Funny, I just applied for a new job on Sunday. No call back so I think I know the answer to that. The job was in a totally different field. I think I would have loved it but it only lasts for a year. I don’t think I can deal with that uncertainty.  I just wanted something different and good job experience.

I also applied for a part-time job. ::crickets:: A part time job would be great…but then I think about how much time I spend on my full-time job. I spend a lot of time off the clock to do decent work. If I get a part-time job when would I have time to do my day job? It’s not like I can work after 7PM on weekdays or on Sundays.

I miss the old days when I spent 40 hours a week doing my work and that was more than good enough. Those days seem to be gone forever (which is one reason I was looking for a more fulfilling job).

I know I am very lucky to have a job. I KNOW. Trust me. 😉

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I searched youtube forever for a great core workout and this is the best that I found:

The difference between this vid and a class is she doesn’t include breaks between exercises. That is why her video is 20 minutes when all the core classes I’ve attended are 30 minutes. I only mention this because I was sore this morning after doing that workout yesterday. lol. I was never sore after going to the Y and doing a core workout. Oh well I do recommend it. Just rest in between exercises.

The only extravagance I am considering if I get the loan is joining a gym. Last week I said I weighed 127 lbs. That was at the doctor’s office. Well I weighed myself at the free gym on Saturday and I weighed 133 lbs. 🙁 UGH! NO NO NO NO. It is all my fault for not eating right and not working out as much. I want to go to a gym with a pool so I can do water aerobics again. Obviously it has to be cheaper than the Y. I have one place in mind but I have to get a tour before I join.

This was supposed to be a short entry but I can’t help myself. I don’t talk to anyone about this stuff so it all comes out here.