I get so restless when it is hot. Whoo! I have a full weekend. Anybody who knows me knows that I would not be excited about that…at all. I like to stay home and have at least one day when I don’t have to shower. (I knew “eww” whatever!) lol.

I went to therapy for the first time in 6 weeks. She is making me GO somewhere! She’s so tough. I have to go FOUR times in a month. Okay, it really isn’t that bad but she better not make it worse next time because I will regress which means just not doing it. Going to Barnes & Nobles for an hour doesn’t seem that bad. She said hours though. She is very funny. Of course I have to get there early so I can choose my spot. Really I could just stand and browse the books. I’ve only sat down once and it was at a table for about 20 minutes. I think I was looking into bathroom remodeling. I’m obsessed with bathrooms. Nope, my bathroom is not being remodeled. 🙁

So I would be waking up early on Saturday and Sunday. ARGH! I know these conditions are horrid. (joke). My dog has a bath and pedi scheduled for 8am (fuck!) on Sunday. LOL. I would have chosen 10am but I didn’t make the call. 8am??! I didn’t know they opened that early. Oh well. I also have to mow the lawn this weekend which scratches going to the gym off my schedule. *um, yay*

I’ve been wanting to go to Barnes & Nobles because they have the free Wi-fi but of course I’m leery because I have no idea how it works. (I know how Wi-FI works, I just don’t know what the norm is in B&N). How many people bring their laptops in? Do you have to get a code or does it just work? Since I don’t know the answers to these questions yet, I’m not taking my laptop with me. If I could get free wi-fi, I might slip in more than 4 times a week. heh. Just kidding. Being a regular customer at any place freaks me out.

I’m going to the library on Saturday too but B&N is definitely better because they have NEW books. I’m researching careers at the moment so I could use a hour or two in a book store. Now that I’m thinking about it, I have a ton of books I want to browse (cooking, health, the remodel section, crafts etc.) How hard is this? It really depends on how many people are there. Most people (strangers) mind their own business so I’m not as nervous.

Of course my therapist wants me to say “hi” or smile. I still feel like that is an intrusion if someone is focused. If the other person speaks first then I know it is fine. But speaking to strangers in a book store, I don’t think I’ve ever done it…not counting the workers.

I told her my life story (AGAIN ) and of course she gets why I am the way I am. This was the first time I articulated how scary the school bus rides were. And it was every weekday! Then it was the stuff that happened n the school. It was terrifying. But all the teasing and being hit with paper balls*, didn’t make me want to go to school less.

*yeah it could have been rocks. I’m so lucky! I despise sarcasm but I have to be like my smart-ass coworkers. Anything to fit in. 🙂

We also talked about eating out alone. I’ve done that. I’m not really a fan of restaurants. I love breakfast food and I can make my own with smaller servings so I don’t feel the need to go. If there is a breakfast all day menu, I ALWAYS go for it. It’s a shame really because I’m probably missing out on some good food. That is what made NYC so fun. I didn’t eat in any restaurants but I got take out a few times. (Yes ones with pictures of President Obama hanging on the wall. Is there a restaurant he has not been to?). I had smoked salmon, spinach and cheese, brisket etc. If there was a breakfast option, I would have missed out on that salmon. Yummy!

It’s storming. I’m going to try to take a nap. And yes I am excited about going to B&N. But why did I need someone to push me to do something I really wanted to do?