A year ago, my dial up connection was okay for surfing the net. NOW? Not so much. Even Hotmail has become harder to load. Yeah it looks great if you can load the site and read your email. The internet is not a need (yet –haha). But I do need a faster connection for school. I had to go to my mom’s house on several occasions just to do my work. Or I could have gone to a public place which is probably worse when it is school related. (Noise etc.)

This frustrates me. How do you people afford the fast internet and cell phones? I want your life! LOL. I know there is a solution but my connection is too slow to look for one. I even actually called humans at Verizon and Comcast. Yes I was that desperate! They didn’t give me any hope. The only thing I can probably do is get high speed internet from Verizon. It is through dial-up…and that is the problem.l. I can barely even CONNECT to the net through a dial up connection so how can I be 100% sure that high speed dial up is the answer?? I guess I could figure out something if I called my ISP and speak to 50 different people. I don’t even know how to explain it so the thought of trying to get an honest answer out of tech people…
I have the same problem with two ISPs so I know it must be my phone line. It has gone out for days for no reason. Verizon came to fix it and it didn’t go out for about 8 months…but then it went out again recently. I really don’t think it is my computer modem but what do I know?

Wow, I just found out that my mom is getting rid of her internet service from Comcast for something else because of the cost. Blah. Once again, how do people do it? They must have cable/dsl/wireless internet in the “Need” category which I can understand. I NEED to have dial-up (not really but OMG, I would die if I couldn’t sell on ebay, check my email, blog etc.)

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Tomorrow I take my last final! I WILL BE FREE. I cannot wait. I just want to read again and do other stuff without feeling guilty. Instead of wasting my time before school starts back up in January , I have a list of things I WILL do:

*Get my living room organized. I have enough containers and baskets. I just need to get organized. Things got worse when my dad was staying in my bedroom. MY living room turned into my closet. And it has been like that since. I believe that if my house is in disarray then my life will continue to be a stress fest even when I’m home. So I HAVE to do this. I have faith I can get this done somehow by January…hopefully by the end of October, I will have a real system down.

*Read more (easy), maybe go to the movies (haven’t been in more than a year), just do more hobby oriented things. ENJOY LIFE while I actually have free time. This will end in January 2011.

*Complete my 600 page textbook (the reading and the exercises). Yeah, this is school related. But I don’t want to forget the stuff I’ve learned and I do enjoy it. It is an old textbook I got free from paperbackswap.com. Some things have changed since 10 years ago but much of it is relevant.

*Figure out an internet solution (see above)

*Sell on Ebay once a month (if I’m not generating any profit – I’ll stop.) I haven’t sold since summer school started. I have a basket of stuff ready to post next week.

*Decide what I’m going to use my opportunity at college tuition reimbursement for. I think it is stupid for me not to use it. I wish they would reimburse me to get this certificate so I could put money back into my house (or internet access -heh). Can’t have everything, right? I have a few things in mind. I will probably go the associates route.

*Attend at least one yoga class to see if I like it. One class before the new year. I think I can. I would love to take a jewelry making class or something fun but I do have to save money for tuition and text books. Yoga isn’t that expensive at work. And there are other alternatives. I’ve heard that the yoga classes at the YWCA or horrible (but really cheap). I’m glad I got that tip.

I have other vague goals like eating healthier, maybe volunteering somewhere for a day or on a short term basis (probably not ready for that – even though I did volunteer weekly at a park for 6 weeks when I was about 19). I just want to live. It’s hard because of the depression and anxiety. I so don’t have a regular life for someone my age. I have the life of a parent with newborns. I’m always tired, etc. So I can’t do everything…a normal person would do if he/she had free time.

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MTV is advertising for the Music Awards like crazy. The show doesn’t air until September. I hope I have a TV with sound by then….but I’m not counting on it. Thank Buddha, for closed caption!! 🙂 O god, not another issue! Anyway, they probably don’t’ even have a line up yet. I never did see all last year’s show.